


Good Opportunity

by Ymas



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: M/M, episode: s21e01 Classic Hot Hatch Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ymas/pseuds/Ymas
Summary: Another litte thing written for THE GRAND CHMS 2002 - 2019 CELEBRATION.This one for the 'Favourite Moments 2002 - 2019 Comment Fic Challenge'.The prompt was one ofMarginaliana's favourite moments, the one where they "play this game where they all have to change seats while driving. It's stupidly dangerous and they are all laughing like fuck."Or: The one where Jeremy and James recognise an opportunity.





	Good Opportunity

It's Jeremy's idea, of course.  
And, more surprisingly, Andy's.  
  
"I used to have one of these", Andy says during the meeting, squinting at the picture of Jeremy's choice of car, a VW Golf GTI. "One exactly like this."  
  
"Yeeees!" Jeremy grins, practically bouncing in his chair. "Your first car! Oooh, do you remember..."  
  
"Lord almighty, yes!" and they break into mad giggling of the kind that would make every teenage girl proud and is usually Richard’s speciality.  
  
It takes a while for Porter to re-establish order and get them back on track. And that in itself is worth watching, because it's usually Andy who has to try and keep them and Porter under control.  
James has several cups of tea in the meantime and, after accepting the fact that they could just as well be speaking in a foreign language for all that he gets what they are on about, Richard just leans back and enjoys the show.  
  
It's Chinese fire drills and laps of cars and musical chairs and silverware and surfing and Lydia and Angela and a French exchange student named Pierre who gave great head and… wait, isn't Pierre a boy's name?  
  
Richard looks at James, who looks back at him completely unfazed, shrugging one shoulder.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"Gentlemen!" Porter calls for about the fourth time, sounding increasingly desperate, and Jeremy and Andy reluctantly splutter to a halt.  
  
"Ah, yes, those where the times", Andy sighs into the momentary silence. "Too bad we're too old and fat to do that anymore."  
  
"Speak for yourself, man!" Jeremy protests indignantly. "I'll have you know that I will _never_ be too old for a lap of my own car!”  
  
And it's just a very small leap from that to a bet.  
  
"We can't possibly do that…" Porter starts.  
  
"Spoilsport!" Jeremy and Andy shout in unison.  
  
"Chaps, seriously, that's much too dangerous and completely unnecessary. Health & Safety…" But Jeremy and Andy are already off, plotting.  
  
"What the heck?" Richard asks in the general direction of James and Richard Porter.  
  
"Now don't tell me you never bollocksed around when you were a snotty teenager with your own first car, Hammond", James asks, incredulous, and at Richard's confused look he rolls his eyes and launches into a long-winded explanation about what exactly a 'lap of your own car' consists of.  
  
By the time James is finished, it's settled.  
Jeremy will do it.  
  
"Oy", Richard protests, "you pillock. I am supposed to be the reckless youngster of this team, I ought to do it, don't steal my place!"  
Because it does sound like fun. And dangerous. And Jeremy with his bulk and dicky hip and bad back does seem like a rather risky choice, even to Richard.

  
He gets completely ignored of course.  
And anyway, since when is he the cautious one?

* * *

  
  
  
They haven't rehearsed it. For many reasons.  
  
Not least of all because they have kept it hushed and out of the script, so as not to prematurely alert Health & Safety.  
  
And even Andy admits by now that it is all a bit crazy and doing it twice would be too great a risk.  
  
"Is he really going to go through with it, do you think?" Richard asks James while they are off to the side by themselves while the crew is setting up the shoot. Because yes, he more than half expects Jeremy to bow out of it at the last minute. After all, physical activity is not his strongest suit. Or his favourite thing.  
  
On the other hand, present Jeremy with a dare and he'll prove just exactly how much physical ability he still has left in him.  
  
"Why not?" James asks mildly, all quizzical nonchalance, and it's so strange and uncharacteristic, it makes Richard's head spin.  
  
"Because it's completely bonkers and he's going to kill himself to death, that's why!"  
  
"Nah, it's fun, you'll see." James grins, and yes, wow, this is all a bit unexpected, it is.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Of course Jeremy does do it. And not only that, of course he drives much faster than the proposed 15-20 mph.  
  
  
Richard sits in the back with his camcorder, laughing hysterically, torn between awe and disbelief and fascination and exhilaration and the pure horror of the thought of Jeremy falling off and getting rolled over by his own car.  
  
It all goes well in the end, thank god.  
  
Seriously, all of the day’s filming is an absolute riot.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Afterwards they stand by the portacabin, smoking and sipping tea, and Richard is still totally keyed up.  
  
He can't believe he'd never seen or heard of it before, he can't believe how outright sexy it was to watch Jeremy doing something so agile and almost graceful, he can't believe how exciting it was to be in the middle of it all and yes, the musical chairs kind of game they played to wrap it all up has done nothing to tone that excitement down.   
  
"And you've done that, too? The lap of the car thing? You??" he asks James, propping a foot against the portacabin wall and trying to nick a fag from James.  
  
"Helped pull the girls", James answers with a smile, letting Richard have the whole packet.  
  
"And the boys", Jeremy adds.  
  
"And especially the boys", James agrees.  
  
Richard dissolves into laughter.  
There isn't much these two morons could say at this point that would still surprise him, and this should totally be one of those few things, but it's all so surreal and crazy and hilarious and it doesn't, not in the least.  
  
"Well, you could have certainly pulled _me_ with that stunt, that's for sure", he declares when he has calmed down enough to be able to breathe.  
  
"Could have?" Jeremy raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Or did have?" James asks with calm curiosity around a lungful of smoke and a very smug smile.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Later, much later, half asleep between the two men who have defined his life for the last ten or twelve years, with Jeremy pressed against his back from shoulders to ankles, face nuzzled into Richard's hair, with James facing him on his other side, a couple of inches of space between them but one hand firmly wrapped around one of Richard's, that is when it finally hits him.  
  
"This was your plan all along, right? To pull me. From the beginning."  
  
"Mmmmh, maybe not from the _very_ beginning", Jeremy mumbles into his hair.  
  
"But it seemed like a good opportunity", James adds lazily.  
  
"You couldn't think of something a little less…. dangerous?"  
  
"Don't complain, Hamster, we all know you like it spectacular", Jeremy swats an uncoordinated hand at him.  
  
"And with a bit of a racket." James smiles.  
  
"That too”, Jeremy agrees. "Now shush. I'm dead. You two have broken me."  
  
Richard scoots back, burrowing even deeper into Jeremy's warmth, and lifts his and James' joined hands so he can press a kiss to James’ knuckles. He keeps it close, then, James' hand, pressing his forehead against it.  
  
"Sometimes", he says, happier than he has been in a very long time. "Sometimes I like it loud. Yes. But only sometimes. Keep that in mind, will you?"  
  



End file.
